It’s that Time of Year

This time of year has more to offer than becoming poorer, fatter, and more hungover than usual. Well, #NotReally

It’s that time of year…

Time to roll over your credit card balance to another 0% interest… Just me? Nevermind.

Time to sing Christmas music loud enough that it makes your baby cry #JustHappened

Time to buy a mattress on Black Friday that you can’t afford because it’s cheaper that day than any other day and you’re sick of your 6’5” husband elbowing you in the face in the middle of the night. No?

Time to drink enough wine on a regular basis that your tolerance starts to impress you. Just kidding…??

Time to eat enough mashed potatoes in the next 30 days that no workout routine will save you. #Fact

Time to spend 25 minutes taking and retaking pictures of your family to ensure that the one you post on facebook looks oh-so candid. And happy. Happily candid. Me on repeat: “oh try one more. Oh no, that one is blurry. Try taking it from the other side. The lighting… omg count to 3 first! Wtf. I think I need to change my sweater… hold on.”

Time for Brad to want to kill himself after I’m finally pleased with the picture he took.

Time to spend countless hours browsing the internet for the best Christmas present deals under $10. The kind of presents nobody would know cost $10 but then you end up spending $100 on yourself because… what a deal. #SonOfA…

Time to have political conversations that make you mad enough to burn your eardrums off. (that’s a thing, right?)

Time to eat so much fudge that your intestines feel like they are actually going to fall out.

Time to no longer say “I’ll start on Monday…” because goals don’t start in December they start in January and “I’ll start in January” seems so much more doable.

But most of all, it’s that time of year when it’s socially acceptable to drink dessert wine, while eating dessert, while wearing sparkly shoes, and a spanx bodysuit. #DamnStraight

I’m just kidding! None of these are true… except all of them.

Cheers, friends. It’s a great time of year. But I gotta go now because it’s Black Friday and I have like half a bottle of wine to finish before I start doing my best shopping. PEACE!


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