It’s been nearly 8 weeks since I dropped baby Kent off at daycare for the first time. At that time in my motherhood life I was looking forward to dropping him off and going to work WHAT!?!
Read about it here. How dare I, you wonder? How could I drive away from the daycare parking lot without a tear in my eye? I know, it sounds terrible. But I haven’t been shy to report the fact that Kent has been far from an easy baby. Premature. Colic. Never sleeps more than 3 hours. A husband who is gone a lot. And away from family and friend support. Poor me, I know. I’m not trying to complain. I’m just being honest here. It was a lot. And those are the reasons why going to work was a welcomed break from a hard day at home.
Fast forward to now…
I want to cry every day when I wake up and realize I have to leave him. I want to go to work late. I want to leave work early. I want to wake my baby up in the middle of the night so I can get extra time with him. I spend half my day looking at pictures, watching videos, and plotting a plan to leave ASAP. I know, I’ve lost my shit.
His colic episodes are fewer and farther between #13daysandcounting #KNOCKONALLTHEWOOD He is smiling every second he’s awake. He laughs. He rolls over. He sleeps better. He wears whatever I want. He’s so lovable. Now I fit in with all the other moms crying as they drive away from the daycare parking lot. I’m with you! I get you! I finally get it!
I feel like I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I can’t spend as much time at home with my baby. Yet, while at work I hustle to get the fuck out of there. The two worlds clash. And sometimes I wonder if I’m doing either of them very well.
So here I am at work hoping to not get fired for arriving late, leaving early, and writing this post in the meantime. I’m watching the clock and working, kind of.
Watch this video from scarymommy.
Wipe your tears, momma. You need to hear this. The transition to a brand new mom and then to a brand new working mom is hard. Sometimes we feel like the balance is impossible. But we are doing a good job. This is the message we need to hear. WE ARE DOING A GOOD JOB. We drop our smiling, laughing, happy little babies off at daycare with strangers who can’t love them like we do… all to achieve our career goals and make a dollar.
Thank you for inspiring me to not walk out at 12:42 to pick up my baby. I’m going to buckle down, focus, stay at work, and achieve all my career goals.
Or shop on amazon for new baby clothes. Aaaaand stare at baby pictures. Aaaaaand probably call the daycare to check in. Whatever. I’m at work. So… there.
Me at work. #JustKidding. This is not from today. This is from a year ago when I would wear earrings and do my hair. But let’s pretend this is me right now. K? Thanks. XO