Yesterday I asked my Instagram followers to share anything in particular they’d like me to write about in today’s post. I had some really fun suggestions that I’ll touch on today. My personal suggestion was to write about all my problems and you could be my therapist. Doesn’t that sound fun… No?
As many of you know, last week was a hellish week for the Halverson family. Kent had a major sleep regression… which, I didn’t even think was possible since he’s hardly had a progression! But, behold… it’s possible. For about a week he woke every 1-2 hours. Either needing to eat, rocked, pacifier, or god knows what. On top of it, he had a few colic episodes bad enough to make me refuse my nightly glass of wine (I know, right?) and cry myself to sleep (right after a desperate call to my mom to make me feel better #ThanksMom). When I say colic episode I’m referring to screaming on the top of his lungs for over 1.5 hours straight. Totally unable to be soothed. He throws up he’s so upset. He eventually just passes out. However, these episodes are happening fewer and farther between these days… about once every 5 days or so. We were at the pediatrician’s office last week getting 4 month shots and I can honestly tell you that the cry he had from the shots is not as bad as the screams I hear during a colic episode… if that gives you any idea. The pediatrician told me he should be outgrowing these episodes any day. HEAR THAT, KENT? #ANYDAYNOW! Anyway, this bitch-fest paragraph is just me trying to say thank you to everyone who commented and messaged me suggestions and condolences. I felt so much love from my internet army of support. You’re my therapist. Thank you.
Someone suggested I talk about my favorite wine(s). This is easy. I have two rules I follow to make my choice each
- White wine if it’s daytime. Red if it’s nighttime. The kind of wine matters none. The taste really doesn’t matter either. Just the fact I have wine is fine enough for me. I prefer if it’s in a wine glass but this is not a deal breaker
- Never spend more than $12 on a bottle. It use to be $10 but Brad is almost done with residency so I am upping my classiness a little.
Some nosey people (just kidding…) want to know about a day in the life of a new mom. Let’s do this. (keep in mind, there is no “regular” day with an infant. This is a sorta-kinda, maybe, this sound right… kind of day)
6:30am: Kent wakes up for the morning. Immediate reaction: “DAAAMNIITTT!!” But then I crawl my way into the nursery, peak over the crib, and see him smiling at me. There’s nothing better!
6:30-7:30: Playtime! All the squeels, coo’s, and smiles to make a new mom melt to the ground. Coffee #1 complete.
7:30: Bottle. Maybe drinks 1 ounce maybe 5.
7:45: Nap (him, not me)
7:45-8:30: I get ready for work. Usually on my second cup of coffee. I half ass some make up job, put my hair in a poneytail and pray I don’t get fired for being late.
8:30: Baby wakes up. Have a fashion show of trying on new clothes. I usually keep trying clothes on until he cries from annoyance and I settle on whatever he’s wearing at the moment. #NoRegretsHere
9:00: Daycare Drop off
9:30: Late for work. Fucking work. I spend half my morning checking e-mails and half googling “how to get my baby to sleep through the night.” Or “best earbuds to block screams.” Somewhere in there I eat something.
12:00pm: Lunch. I spend too much time checking facebook, snapchat, text messages, calling my mom… and another prayer that I don’t get fired for being easily distracted.
1:00: Work. Fucking work. I work as fast as possible to get out of there!
4:00: Home. (No, I did not forget to pick up the baby.) I spend an hour either taking a shower, cat nap, working out, and/or eating something before I pick up the baby. I know, #MomOfTheYear. Truth is, I really really want to pick up the baby but I try to keep some personal goals within reach (yes, a nap IS a personal goal sometimes). It’s so much easier and I have so much more motivation to get them done if I know I can pick my baby up right afterwords. I mean, really… what’s better motivation to do a 30 minute workout when I can tell myself “hurry up, the baby is waiting!”
5:00: Daycare pick up!
5:00 – 5:45: Playtime! And Kent becomes my personal baby model. #Photoshoots
6:00: Bottle and bedtime.
Some of you might think 6:00 seems hella early for bed. And it is… I think? But this is what we have started to do to avoid a colic episode. If he’s asleep by 6:30 we usually are able to avoid it #KnockOnWood He’s never had a colic episode past 8:00 so we try to have him sleep through it.
6:30-9:30: Brad gets home from work. We have a glass of red. Eat something. And watch The Office.
9:30: Dream feed 4 ounces.
10:00: Lights out. #ForcedBedtime
12:30am: 1st feeding.
3:30am: 2nd feeding.
6:30… FULL CIRCLE
Wow. When I write it all out it actually sounds like I have somewhat of an idea of what I’m doing and a little… dare I say… routine going? It’s still a total crapshoot when it comes to how much he eats at a feeding. Sometimes it’s 1 ounce and other times it’s 5. He takes about 4 naps a day ranging from 30 minutes – 1.5 hours. He’s rarely awake for more than 2 hours. His bedtime and wake up have been pretty consistent for a few weeks now. It actually sounds like I have my shit together a little… I am impressed with myself!
How does this compare with your family? I can only imagine adding a 2 year old in there or twins… OMG TWINS… You twin mom’s probably think I’m the biggest baby in the entire world. I can actually feel the eyeroll happening. I don’t blame you. And the mom’s with additional kids… how the F. I think I’ll look back at how tired and stressed I was during this time when I have a second baby and think “what the hell was I so tired and stressed for?”
Did anyone catch that… when I have a second baby. Positive thoughts. But not too positive yet. No, thank you. No. No. No. Hell. No. Thank. You. No.