4 Months: the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly.

“4 Months, already?” The new mom said.
“That’s it?” I say.

kentIt feels like a decade ago that I was that terrified girl who was without my husband, 35 weeks pregnant and about to rolled down for an emergency C-section. Gosh, seriously? Only 4 months ago? That’s it?

Kent has made me aware that it’s possible to cry from happiness and joy and then cry from anger and frustration within a 60 second period. It’s actually very impressive. I should brag about this skill more often. He’s very good at it.

This morning he looked at me and smiled. I thought to myself “how the hell… how the hell is he mine? I have a baby. And he’s beautiful. And has a dimple. And smiles at me. And knows my voice.” I felt a big rush of love and I reached out to hug him… I really wanted a huge hug from him. And then I remembered I need to strategically place his tiny arms around my neck in a half-assed, arguably pathetic, attempt to receive a hug from my infant. But he liked it.

4 Month Update on Kent: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly
The past month he has made serious progress! (I won’t mention the major setback we encountered when he had Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease two weeks ago because he got back on track but what the fuck… that was not cool.)

The Good:kent2

  • He has TRIPLED his birth weight (OMG) clocking in at nearly 15 pounds.
  • His social skills are really the big star player this month. He went from barely cracking a smile last month to smiling ALL.THE.TIME. It’s my greatest joy watching his face light up to the sound of my voice. Or anyone’s voice for that matter. He also coo’s and squeals. Brad called me two weeks ago and told me he thought Kent told him he loved him. He was being serious…
  • Last night, I swear I heard a giggle.
  • He’s grabbing toys (and my hair) and sometimes he swings at toys dangling in his face.
  • He is wiggling and kicking and moving all around! It’s a countdown to him rolling over… I’m sure of it!
  • He takes 3-4 naps a day for about an hour each.
  • Daycare told me he is the best dressed baby. #Winning.

 

The Bad:

  • Sleeping – He still wakes up about every 3-4 hours to eat. That means about 2-3 times a night. He’s a growing boy… what can I say. The exhaustion I feel from him getting sick, and then me getting sick and then him not ever sleeping longer than 4 hours in 4 months is enough for me to go insane. So far, I haven’t died. But I won’t be mad when this improves.
  • His diapers. They are gross. And I hate them. #TooSoonToPottyTrain?

 

The Ugly:

  • I’m not really sure what to call it because he isn’t colic anymore but about 3-4 times a week he still gets so upset that he can’t be soothed. In fact, he gets so upset sometimes he throws up. He throws up all over himself. His face turns red and he screams so loud for so long that he loses his voice. These episodes last about 30-60 minutes. And it’s a total nightmare. It makes me anxious and nervous to bring him anywhere because I never know if this torture will strike. It takes everything in me to not burst into tears… but sometimes I can’t help but cry. Like last night, both Kent and myself cried ourselves to sleep (not trying to be depressing… just being honest) It’s really difficult seeing your baby so upset and there’s nothing you can do. This has been, by far, the hardest part of parenting for us. But from everything we read, it should be getting better now that he’s 4 months… RIGHT, KENT?
kent3
Right, Mom!

Even with the challenges of him not sleeping very long increments and the colic episodes this has been the most rewarding month of all! In fact, I already think about how I’m going to miss my baby being this small and this needy. I love holding him in my arms and seeing him smile at me when I change his diaper. He lights up my life.

And if your husband is anything like mine, this is when he grows very attached to the baby. I honestly think Brad thinks Kent likes him more than me. Which is hilarious. But I can see the confidence in Brad’s eyes as he looks at Kent and tries to get a smile out of him faster than me. Oh, what’s that you say.? It’s not a competition? Yeah, ok. But he likes me more.

Life keeps getting better. I try to not complain because he’s everything I’ve ever wanted!

He is truly the light of my life. But if you’re experiencing a little bit of what I’ve described just know you aren’t alone. You aren’t a wuss. You aren’t just not adapting to newborn life well… some babies are really hard. NOT ALL BABIES ARE EASY. So don’t feel bad for feeling however you feel. Also, read this (note: you might cry). And read it if you want to understand more about colic and what I’ve been experiencing. This article nailed it on the head.

And seriously… look at this precious, innocent, SLEEPING baby.

kent4

PS- Since I’m full of advice today… I advise you, new mom, to drink wine. All mom’s should drink wine. Even if your baby is easy. Do it anyway. #BottomsUp #CopingSkills

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7 thoughts on “4 Months: the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly.

  1. Glad I am not the only one who cries of pure joy and frustration all within a minute span. I am the mommy of a 3 month old who can’t currently digest dairy or soy proteins yet and I am still trying to breastfeed so wine has been my savior once he goes down! Your blog and posts are a breath of fresh air so happy I stumbled upon it 🙂

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  2. Glad I am not the only one who cries of pure joy and frustration all within a minute span. I am the mommy of a 3 month old who can’t currently digest dairy or soy proteins yet and I am still trying to breastfeed so wine has been my savior once he goes down! Your blog and posts are a breath of fresh air so happy I stumbled upon it 🙂

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    1. Oh wow! Sounds like we would make good neighbors! (Don’t you wish you had a neighbor you could just drink wine with and let your baby scream without judgement?) How did you find out your baby had a hard time digesting dairy or soy? Wondering if I should inquire about this at our appointment on Tuesday?

      Thanks for reading!

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  3. I am 2 weeks post partum and am definitely already part of the “cry myself to sleep” club. I knew it was normal to feel udderly defeated sometimes (esp at 3:30am when you haven’t slept a wink) but it helped hearing it from someone else 🙂

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  4. I’ve been there. My first born was colic and being a new mom it was extremely difficult. I don’t know if you have one but I would try a white noise machine at night. All three of my kids have one and my 8 week old is sleeping 7 hours straight at night..they are magic! Have you read The happiest baby on the block? I’ve never actually read it but when your baby is having a colic episode there’s the five s. Swaddle, shush in ear, swing, white noise, and suck. You may know all of this information but I thought I’d pass along in case you didn’t. I wish someone would I told me this all when I had my first born. Thank you for being so honest.

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  5. My first born had horrible colic and I wish I had support during that trying time. Thank you for being so honest. Have you tried using a white noise machine at night? I have three kids and it’s the best thing ever. My seven week old is sleeping 7-8 hours straight at night. Also have you read The happiest baby on the block? I’ve never read it but I use the method on my little one when she’s hard to settle. White noise, swaddle, suck, shush in ear, and swing. Don’t know if that’s helpful to you at all but I thought I’d pass it along. Hang in there it does get better but in the mean time drink up.

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