“4 Months, already?” The new mom said.
“That’s it?” I say.
It feels like a decade ago that I was that terrified girl who was without my husband, 35 weeks pregnant and about to rolled down for an emergency C-section. Gosh, seriously? Only 4 months ago? That’s it?
Kent has made me aware that it’s possible to cry from happiness and joy and then cry from anger and frustration within a 60 second period. It’s actually very impressive. I should brag about this skill more often. He’s very good at it.
This morning he looked at me and smiled. I thought to myself “how the hell… how the hell is he mine? I have a baby. And he’s beautiful. And has a dimple. And smiles at me. And knows my voice.” I felt a big rush of love and I reached out to hug him… I really wanted a huge hug from him. And then I remembered I need to strategically place his tiny arms around my neck in a half-assed, arguably pathetic, attempt to receive a hug from my infant. But he liked it.
4 Month Update on Kent: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly
The past month he has made serious progress! (I won’t mention the major setback we encountered when he had Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease two weeks ago because he got back on track but what the fuck… that was not cool.)
- He has TRIPLED his birth weight (OMG) clocking in at nearly 15 pounds.
- His social skills are really the big star player this month. He went from barely cracking a smile last month to smiling ALL.THE.TIME. It’s my greatest joy watching his face light up to the sound of my voice. Or anyone’s voice for that matter. He also coo’s and squeals. Brad called me two weeks ago and told me he thought Kent told him he loved him. He was being serious…
- Last night, I swear I heard a giggle.
- He’s grabbing toys (and my hair) and sometimes he swings at toys dangling in his face.
- He is wiggling and kicking and moving all around! It’s a countdown to him rolling over… I’m sure of it!
- He takes 3-4 naps a day for about an hour each.
- Daycare told me he is the best dressed baby. #Winning.
- Sleeping – He still wakes up about every 3-4 hours to eat. That means about 2-3 times a night. He’s a growing boy… what can I say. The exhaustion I feel from him getting sick, and then me getting sick and then him not ever sleeping longer than 4 hours in 4 months is enough for me to go insane. So far, I haven’t died. But I won’t be mad when this improves.
- His diapers. They are gross. And I hate them. #TooSoonToPottyTrain?
- I’m not really sure what to call it because he isn’t colic anymore but about 3-4 times a week he still gets so upset that he can’t be soothed. In fact, he gets so upset sometimes he throws up. He throws up all over himself. His face turns red and he screams so loud for so long that he loses his voice. These episodes last about 30-60 minutes. And it’s a total nightmare. It makes me anxious and nervous to bring him anywhere because I never know if this torture will strike. It takes everything in me to not burst into tears… but sometimes I can’t help but cry. Like last night, both Kent and myself cried ourselves to sleep (not trying to be depressing… just being honest) It’s really difficult seeing your baby so upset and there’s nothing you can do. This has been, by far, the hardest part of parenting for us. But from everything we read, it should be getting better now that he’s 4 months… RIGHT, KENT?
Even with the challenges of him not sleeping very long increments and the colic episodes this has been the most rewarding month of all! In fact, I already think about how I’m going to miss my baby being this small and this needy. I love holding him in my arms and seeing him smile at me when I change his diaper. He lights up my life.
And if your husband is anything like mine, this is when he grows very attached to the baby. I honestly think Brad thinks Kent likes him more than me. Which is hilarious. But I can see the confidence in Brad’s eyes as he looks at Kent and tries to get a smile out of him faster than me. Oh, what’s that you say.? It’s not a competition? Yeah, ok. But he likes me more.
Life keeps getting better. I try to not complain because he’s everything I’ve ever wanted!
He is truly the light of my life. But if you’re experiencing a little bit of what I’ve described just know you aren’t alone. You aren’t a wuss. You aren’t just not adapting to newborn life well… some babies are really hard. NOT ALL BABIES ARE EASY. So don’t feel bad for feeling however you feel. Also, read this (note: you might cry). And read it if you want to understand more about colic and what I’ve been experiencing. This article nailed it on the head.
And seriously… look at this precious, innocent, SLEEPING baby.
PS- Since I’m full of advice today… I advise you, new mom, to drink wine. All mom’s should drink wine. Even if your baby is easy. Do it anyway. #BottomsUp #CopingSkills