That looks easy, let me try!

Ok. First of all, I had to delete my entire first paragraph because I was excitedly writing about how Kent was already down for bed at 7pm. And literally as I was finishing the last sentence he starts screaming his eyeballs out. I really shouldn’t have said a word. Son of a… and it’s now 8:34 and not only has he cried for the past 1.5 hours, nursed 3 times, and had 4 doses of gas drops but he’s not asleep yet… but he’s not crying either. And he’s in his bed. So… I’m not going to say another word. Just pray for me.

Just another day in paradise around here.

In reference to parenting, do you ever feel like you have no idea what you’re doing so you just watch how other people handle things and try to mimic it? Actually take back the parenting… it really happens all the time. Tell me I’m not the only one.

As I’ve already mentioned Kent sometimes has some gas problems. He also appears to have crying fits about once a week. Regardless, he seemingly cries for no reason. These crying episodes make me want to slam my head against the wall and cry. Sometimes I do. But usually I remain calm. Just talking to myself in a weird, somewhat singing kind of voice, saying “Ohhhh Kent… why are  you crying… you’re so cute… I am tired… It was hot today… ohh Kent… please stop… Ohhh boy… you’re so cute…”

I’m getting off track here.

Ok, so I was in Iowa visiting family and I found myself intensely watching people handling Kent. Not in a creepy helicopter-mom kind of way. But a curious kind of way. My mom, for example, I noticed she kept placing Kent facedown on her legs. He appeared to love it. He just zonked out. Not only was it affective but it was also damn cute. She said she thinks it makes his tummy feel better.

Duly noted.

So the next time Kent seemed irritable or upset and I couldn’t find a reason, I plopped him on my lap face down. Just like she did. He continued to cry. Then louder. Ok, he’s screaming. Shit. Do I plow through the screams or toss him back over my shoulder? 10 seconds pass and he’s over my shoulder. Well, what the hell, mom? 

I give it another shot several times… even today. No luck. I simply don’t have the magic touch. I mean, I can’t possibly be doing it wrong.

I watch other people, too. Like strangers. Or family members with young kids. Oh, look, that person is wearing their kid in the grocery store. Actually wearing them. Like in one of those wrap thingamajig. It looks really easy. Like, you practically don’t have a newborn if you don’t have a car seat attached to you. The baby was sleeping, too. How easy is this!?

Naturally I decide to wear Kent grocery shopping the next week. Ok, so here I am. I pull up to the grocery store, feeling excited to look like the kind of mom that knows what I’m doing. I park my car. Grab the baby, who is sweetly looking at me with his big blue eyes. Excellent, he’s in a good mood. I strap on my carrier. I stuff him in. He did not go in easily. He required some wrestling. It was definitely not smooth. But he is in. I began to strut my way to the store. Hoping people took notice of my NBD attitude. Within seconds of entering the store there’s squirming. Aggressive squirming. He’s trying to make his way out. Using a masculine grunting noise in efforts to make himself free. I ignore him, like I imagine the other mom was doing. I continue as if I have no baby attached to me, as she did. But the grunts can’t be ignored much longer. They’re getting louder. Shit. Ok, it’s a cry. He’s crying. What do I do? I don’t have anywhere to put him. Should I leave? Should I give up or keep going? Maybe he’ll fall asleep? Urg.. this isn’t going well. A screaming baby and I panic. Peace out grocery store. Maybe next time.

We learn from watching. Observing. And trial and error. It’s a journey. But it’s awesome. So I’m going to do what I do best when all else fails… I’m going to sing my little song “ohhh Mallory… you poor little dumpling… ohhh Mallory… you’re doing great.” It’s okay, you guys, we aren’t perfect. Just keep trying. Keep copying. Keep singing your song, momma!

ps- it’s now 10:14pm. Kent woke up 3 times and nursed once. #SendHelp

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2 thoughts on “That looks easy, let me try!

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