We Are All A Bunch Of Liars. Admit It.

“Name 5 things that describe yourself.” I say to a group of elementary school kids. {In case you didn’t know, I am a bereavement therapist for hospice and run bereavement groups for kids}

Kid #1: “Nice. Caring. Thoughtful. Kind. Smug.”

Smug? Ok, I don’t want to embarrass this kid. He surely doesn’t know what smug means. Moving on…

Kid #2: “Good at cooking. Outgoing. Liar. Happy. Sneaky.”

Umm… what is going on here?

Kid #3: “Oh yeah, I’m sneaky too.”

Kid #4: “ME TOO!”

Kid #5: “ME TOO!”

Seriously? #Help!

“Why is everyone think they are sneaky? Do you know what sneaky means?” I say.

Kid #3: “Yes, it’s when you lie, cheat and do things you’re not supposed to when nobody is looking.”  The other kids nod in agreement.  

Oh, shit. I’m in trouble. 

“Why would you lie?” I regretfully ask.

Kid #3: “To get what I want. Or to avoid getting in trouble.”

“How does that work out for you?”

Kid #3: “Pretty good. I don’t usually get caught. I’m good at being sneaky.”

Perfect. A bunch of sneaky bereaved kids. Lovely.

I continue on with the activities planned for the rest of the time and frankly, I didn’t know what hell say about them all agreeing they are filled with sneakiness. #HideYourPurse

Later I began thinking… why would they all be so unusually candid and not at all sneaky about their sneakiness? Is this a cool thing now? A trend, perhaps? Did I miss something?

Or even worse… is it the truth?

Are we all actually hiding in our own personal sneakiness and we’re too old and too good at it to care or remember we’re even doing it? So the question that is begged to be asked: What have I done lately that’s sneaky?

  • I lied to Brad about what time it was so we would go to bed early enough to watch the entire episode of American Idol.
  • I hid a box of girl scout cookies in my car so I could eat them in peace and not be judged with how fast they disappear.
  • When someone asked how much weight I’ve gained I said 20 when really it’s like 25 because I didn’t want to see the look on their face to my real answer.
  • I’ve definitely lied about how far along I am on a regular basis so I don’t hear “Oh you’re so big!”
  • I told my nieces my blonde hair was natural.
  • I pretended I was on a conference call at work so I wouldn’t be bothered by my co workers.
  • I declined to answer my good friends call because I was too into my Vanderpump Rules finale.
  • I told someone burpees are still easy for me. #BigLie

That took like 3 seconds. I mean, this is way too easy to think of these things. I’m terrified to think of how many I could really come up with if I had the time. Either I’m a compulsive lying, sneaky adult… or you do all of this too… making it normal. Yes?

Seriously. Think about it. Just the last week. What were you sneaky about? “White lies” they might say… admit it.

We are all a bunch of liars.

You’re welcome.


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