This post is dedicated to all those married to spouses in medicine, military, police officers, the spouses still in school, those that travel for work, and so many others. To the ones who can’t make it home every night. To the ones that work tirelessly for a paycheck that may or may not seem worth it. The ones that miss your important doctor appointments, aren’t home to help you with your infertility shots, help with putting the kids to bed, or being home for Christmas. This is for you.
Days are long, years are short. Money is tight, free time is scarce. You’re often shipped hundreds of miles away from family and friends. And your paychecks are… cringe worthy. Residency life has it’s perks. Few and far between, perhaps, but they are there… when we look really hard. Here, I present:
10 Unexpected & Hilarious Things I’ve Learned as a Resident Wife
- Consignment Stores are Everything. No Guilt Shopping? #Sold!
- I REALLY Like Being Near My Family. Sadly, for many us… we are far away from family. Luckily for us, we are only a 5 hour drive away. I can visit on weekends… probably too often… like to the point where my parents are thinking “uh, don’t you have any friends there?” But, there’s something that happens when you move away. All of a sudden, your family becomes really… perfect. And you want to be around. And anything is an excuse to come home. “It’s my nieces half birthday!” “It’s the Iowa State Fair!” “The season just changed, I bet they need help decorating!” #AnythingAnything! #TakeMeIn!
- Sleeping Alone is the Bomb.com. I sleep alone about one week out of the month. This was my biggest fear going into residency. The thought of being alone all night could bring me to tears. But 2 years later… I find myself asking “so… when’s your next overnight shift?” What’s not to like? You get to go to bed whenever you want. Probably with ice cream next to you. You can watch Dr. Phil reruns without anyone complaining. Nobody to judge you when you don’t shower in the morning. (See #3)
- I Don’t Care About Looking Pretty. No need to get dressed up, showered, make up on, new clothes… he won’t notice. He’s too tired. Or distracted. But mostly tired. Your haircut will go unnoticed. Your new underwear… he’ll never see it. You lost 5 pounds? Nope, nobody cares! Consider him blind for the next 2-5 years. This is the time to buzz your hair. Eat Oreo’s for breakfast. And quit shaving your legs.
- Binge Watch Netflix For the Entire Weekend. Did I mention he’s gone a lot? Leaving you with an entire weekend to yourself. Two weeks ago I woke up at 10:00am. Ate Grilled Cheese in bed. Watched 4 documentaries… mostly depressing ones about Nazi Camps or prison gangs #ThatsMyJam Ordered Jimmy Johns for lunch. Ate in bed. Watched 1 full Season of The United States of Tara #PersonalFav I then ate breakfast for dinner… in bed… and boom. #LazyDayComplete and nobody to judge you! (Unless you’re judging me right now… stop it.) And I’d be lying of I said the next day wasn’t similar.
- Drinking Wine Is
One OfMy Favorite Thing. Even alone. What’s better than a fireplace, a bottle of red, and a 1000 piece puzzle?
- Making New Friends Is Hard. I feel like when I meet a person at the gym or at work (the only two places I’ve ever met a potential friend) I have the worst game ever! It’s like dating all over again. I start grilling them questions right off the bat to see if they are cool or not. “How old are you?” “What do you do for a living?” “Are you married? For how long?” “Do you like to drink wine?” “Do you have other friends that are cool, too?” “What do your parents do for work?” “How long have you lived here?” “What’s your favorite color?” And by the time I’m done grilling, I realize I’ve asked way too many questions and I FREAK HER OUT! #Damnit! The hardest part is if they are single, they like going out to bars #NotMyJam (I prefer day drinking, going to bed around 10pm) And if they are married they want to go out on “couples dates.” Well that doesn’t work well for me. Unless you want to drink at 8am on a Tuesday when my husband gets home from his overnight shift. See? It’s hard!
- I Have My Shit Together/I’m REALLY An Adult Now: I would never use the words: Type A, organized, or particular to describe myself. However, when nearly every bill, load of laundry, grocery shopping trip, dinner served, budgeting choice, wedding gift giving, RSVPing, mail getting, house cleaning, etc., relies on ME, I begin to have serious opinions about things. Sometimes it feels a little too 50’s for my liking but that’s my life… right now. I care about where I get our bread from (Sam’s Club – $5 for two loafs). I care about RSVPing to weddings on time. I care about my particular laundry folding technique. I care about dinner being healthy and affordable. I care about using Aldi’s as often as possible as our main source of food. And most shockingly, I care about having color coded files for organizing our taxes… which I do. By myself. #BadAss #ButNotAChoice
- To Be VERY Independent. I’ve gone grocery shopping with him three times. I often eat dinner alone. I go to weddings solo and have a blast! I appreciate my friendships more. I don’t wait on him to do anything. I make plans. I do what I want! And I have no regrets about it. #IndependentWoman
- Using AIRBNB is the Best Thing Ever! This is my favorite thing to tell people. Using AirBNB has been the absolute best thing we’ve done…financially. And for the last 15 months we have rented out our spare bedroom nearly every day, a month at a time. I pretty much only rent it out to students of some kind… usually medical students rotating through for a month rotation. The student staying with us now… I haven’t seen him for 4 days. He works more than Brad. Yet we have been able to establish a savings account because of it. I also got my best skin care advice from a woman from Morocco who asked me if I was a smoker. I told her “NO! Why do you think I’m a smoker?” “because your skin is so dry and wrinkly” Awesome. Then she told me her secret scan care regiment. It involves coconut oil and it’s amazing. Life changing, actually. So if you have dry skin. Buy coconut oil and smother everywhere. Every night. #YouAreWelcome
Baby Update: Happy 8 Weeks to us!
I’m still calling Embaby, Embaby for now. I need a new name. Embaby only has 2 more weeks as an Embaby. We had another ultrasound appointment today. Embaby has grown so much, moving and wiggling, and with arms and legs! The heartbeat was perfect at 166.
We graduated from our fertility clinic today. #Tear And now we’re just two, regular ol’ parents-to-be anxiously waiting for our next scan in two weeks with our regular ol’ OB. I’m still in shock. This might actually work. The ball might not drop. Something bad might not happen. THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY WORK!
I don’t look pregnant yet, other than my usual #ProgesteroneBloat which HOPEFULLY will start fading away after next week when I can start moving my shots from every night to every other night… and soon to NONE! A few more weeks and we will be in the clear to announce! I can’t wait to look pregnant. I can’t wait to announce it loud and clear to anyone that will listen to me! What a journey and what a fight we’ve had… but right now, right this second, everything is perfect.