5 Things You Need to Know Before Starting IVF

Hey Y’all! So many exciting things are happening today.

1) It’s Friday – #FriYay!

2) I start stims today! #HollaIfYouHearMe!

3) I’m heading back to Iowa to meet up with all my sorority friends #GoChiO! for a football game… with my husband… holy shit! My friends haven’t seen him since he started residency over 2 years ago!IMG_1016

Even if I do have to hide behind a tailgating bus full of drunken college kids to stick myself in the stomach with a shit load of hormones. SO. EXCITED. 


IVF #2 is here and I’ve been thinking…

What do I know now, that I wish I would’ve known IVF #1? .

So here it is… in all its glory. My advice. #YouAreWelcome

5 Things You Need to Know Before Starting IVF.

  1. DO NOT COMPARE.
    1. It doesn’t matter what dose of Menopur your neighbors niece’s sister was on… yours wont be the same.
    2. Similarly, don’t ask why you are on Follistim when all you read on google is people talking about Menopur… #ReferToItem2
    3. It doesn’t matter how many eggs your mothers sisters daughter cousin had retrieved… yours wont be the same.
    4. You don’t need to know why you are on birth control for 6 weeks when your coworkers best friend’s sister was on it for 2 weeks… and your doctor won’t explain it… just take the painless, effortless, inexpensive pill. And enjoy it!
  2. TRUST YOUR DOCTORS.
    1.  “I know my body more than anyone” you say. Well, that might be true. But just for fun  let’s look at all the hoops your Reproductive Endocrinologist had to go through in order to be your doctor:
      1. 4 Years of College
      2. 4 Years of Medical School
      3. 4 Years of Obstetrics and Gynecology Residency
      4. 3 Years of Reproductive Endocrinology Fellowship
      5. Pass All The Boards. 
    2. These doctors are not your run of the mill doc’s. They are highly specialized to treat your uterus, fallopian tubes, hypothalamus, pituitary gland, ovaries, and sperm. 
    3. They are specifically trained to throw very expensive, highly potent, painful medications down your throat. #YouWillThankThemLater
    4. Just close your eyes and trust them with all your heart. 
  3. IT’S A CRAPSHOOT.
    1. You may get 34 eggs retrieved and your online support group bestie may get 7 eggs retrieved… you may BOTH get 7 fertilized. You may BOTH get 3 left on day 5. And you may BOTh get pregnant! #ItsACrapshoot
    2. Transfer one or two… one or two… one or two… twins or singleton… twins or singleton… or freeze them all. #ItsACrapShoot 
    3. You have the same diagnosis, you’re the same age, and same prognosis as your husbands high school math teacher’s daughter? You won’t have the same protocol. You won’t have the same number of eggs retrieved. Will you both get pregnant? #ItsACrapshoot
  4. Reach Out To {Supportive} Friends & Family
    1. Instagram is my jam. Sharing my journey on Instagram allowed me to normalize my feelings with people who know exactly what I’m talking about. Sadly, most 29 year old’s have to give pregnancy a second thought… and it can be isolating and depressing. The world of instagram is filled with #ttc -ers that make you feel NORMAL in an abnormal situation. #WeAreInThisTogether #GirlPower
    2. I sent out an e-mail to all my best friends. I wanted the support from them, especially in the event if it doesn’t work.. I need them to know what I’ve been through. Because it’s a part of me now. I felt so loved. They all follow me on instagram and my blog. And it makes me feel so loved. So, so loved. Plus, when my hubby isn’t available they are willing to stab me in in the butt, stomach, and hip with injections. 
    3. If you have a good relationship with your mom. Tell her. Mom’s are the best. Ditto for your dad. When my dad calls and says “So, uh, are you feeling OK?” When you’re knee deep into stims… makes me wanna cry. Ditto for other immediate family members. #HollaSistas!
    4. If you have a cool boss. Tell them. You’ll get sympathy, understanding, and a little bit of a break when you’re an hour late to work. Or she finds you crying in your office. #NoShameInMyGame
  5. Have A Plan
    1. What are you going to do if it doesn’t work? Have a plan.
    2. If the doctor calls on day 14 with your test results… and they are negative… what’s the plan? 
      1. The phone rang. I put it on speaker. Brad and I sat on our bed listening to the doctor speak the words “Not this time.” We didn’t cry. We had vodka chilled and ready. Brad poured me a tall one immediately. We cheers-ed to getting through this together. We went to the animal shelter to begin our search to adopting a kitten. Later we went out to dinner and had more cocktails. The End. At least we got through that first day. 
      2. We had plans for Six Flags the following weekend… because I wanted to do all the things that were fun that you can’t do if you’re pregnant. So we rode roller coasters and drank beer. 
    3. It’s not 100% guarantee. Even if you have a good prognosis. Even if you had a AA grade embryo. Even if you’re young. Have A Plan.

This weekend marks the 1 year anniversary of my first IUI. It’s been a hell of a year. But with all the thousands of dollars, countless doctor appointments, dozens hundreds of pregnancy tests, ugly cries, and hormone induced mood swings (and let’s be honest, a few pounds)… I have learned a thing or two.

It’s my hope that sharing my experience can encourage someone to reach out for support. You are not alone. Do not be afraid. At the end of this ride, you and your significant other will be so strong. We are so proud of ourselves. And you should be, too.

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We are a bunch of bad asses! 

#HollaIfYouHearMe

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12 thoughts on “5 Things You Need to Know Before Starting IVF

  1. I especially like the part about trusting your doctor, sometimes I really need to be reminded of this. I also admire you for starting stims and simultaneously traveling with friends – good luck & have fun!!

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  2. Thank you so much for this. I am just beginning my journey, my hubby and I go in two weeks for our next steps and I have read your blog many times. Truthfully, you are the reason I created a ttc Instagram acct, you gave me the last push I needed. Thank you!

    Like

      1. Hey!!! Just saw this, had to re read your blogs to wrap my head around my emotions right now!!! I’m at @ttc_lifewithoneline

        Like

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