It’s just advice… RELAX!

Ok, ok, so I’m an open book. I understand that talking about my infertility struggle opens the door to unsolicited advice. It’s kinda the risk I’m willing to take. However, being fully aware of this reality does not make me less likely to stab myself in the eye with a pencil or drive my car off a bridge every time I hear well intentioned, yet, completely insulting comments or God forbid, advice. You know what I’m talkin’ about…

“You can have one of mine!”

Says the lady with 7 kids… #clueless

“It doesn’t help to worry about it all the time.”

Just. Shut. Up. Please. Help. Me. SHUT. UP.

“Have you thought about adoption?”

Aren’t we skipping some steps? #slooooooowdown!!! I’ve actually heard this one the most. It’s incredible.

“Just relax…” 

I’m more likely to slit someones tires at this point.

“Are you sure you want to go through all that?” (she says this while wiping away what appears to be a mountain of snot off of her child’s face… with her shirt sleeve)

Yes, biotch, I’m sure.

Ok. I know. I sound so rude. Sorry, Mom. But seriously, the reality is people really don’t get it. And we really can’t expect them to understand. All I know is if they are lucky enough to not know their advice is insulting, I am happy for them. Because nobody deserves to jump through the fertility hoops of costly, time consuming, painful treatments to achieve the most natural thing in the world: pregnancy.

So what do you do?

I tend to lean towards the compassionate, educating response, such as, “ya know, adopting is a great option for a lot of people. And it’s definitely something we might consider in a few years after we go through the process of trying lots of other things first.” 

But if that doesn’t work and I hear:

“Just try putting your legs up in the air… that worked for me!”

I have copies of this in my purse prepped and ready:


So I’ll leave you with this… advice. #ironic?

Whether you are on the side of the infertility struggle or you’re one of the lucky ones supporting a friend… just remember… we are all doing our best.

Be Kind. Be Considerate. Be Patient. 

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend y’all! #Cheers!


One thought on “It’s just advice… RELAX!

  1. Love this. Especially the ‘take one of mine’ comments. I get that all the time and it is so rude. You know I want kids so why pretend to offer me one as a joke! grrr


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