CONGRATULATIONS TO ME!!!!!
I’M 8 MONTHS PREGNANT!!
Or… Not so much…
Last week I told you guys my stomach was ballooning up like no tomorrow and I made an appointment with my RE/BFF. On Monday I went in to see what in God’s name is going on in there, expecting some cysts or God willing… ovulation. No such luck.
Conclusion: I have not ovulated nor am I about to ovulate. Screw you avocados’s – you’re doing me no good! And they see nothing on the scans that would cause the bloat and pain. Oh and they threw in this minor detail: Beta was negative – I’m not pregnant. Thanks for that.
“Your ovaries are inflamed and irritated.” She says. Duhhhhh!! She said some fancy word that I’ve never heard of and basically summed it up to my exercise routine has changed and it can cause inflammation – should go away soon. #awesome.
Anyone who has experienced infertility understands it can easily absorb your life. #amiright?
If you have fertility issues, you are officially my new best friend and we could talk for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours… and hours. #andhours
Instagram is my drug of choice. As a result of my
self destructing and obsessive mission to get pregnant, I have followed my (instagram) fertility leaders in their advice of seeking acupuncture. The fertility world is OBSESSED with acupuncture, almost as much as their own fertility diagnosis itself… almost.
I went to my first appointment this week. My doctor is actually a doctor. A doctor doctor. She’s an MD, chiropractor, and acupuncturist who specializes in fertility. I know, right? #overachiever Oh, and she’s 66. She’s awesome. She spent over 40 minutes with me. She listened to my entire fertility story. I felt extremely heard and validated. “What day was your last period?” She asks. “Ummm like 75 days ago.” I reply. She kindly concludes that I’m “a mess” but she’s going to make me her project. Why does this make me happy? I’m a project! This is not an award for God’s sake! I’m so messed up that I’m a project.
Screw it all, this makes me happy!
I’ll be doing all sorts of test in the next week. Getting my metabolic panel, thyroid, TSH, all sorts of cortisol tests, female reproductive tests… and many more. She wants a full picture. And frankly, that sounds good to me. Let’s figure this out! #girlpower! #airfive!
At the very least, this should shut me up until we decide to do IVF round 2 in early Fall. As a result, this may make everyone in my life happy. #shutmeup
Until then, folks. #Cheers